I am the image of the invisible

hm…… today was a good day at school… hmm, let’s see…….. (i like to type ……., forgive me, my brain is blank a lot of the time, and besides u don’t wanna noe what i’m thinking when it isn’t…) neways, school was ok today, lotsa free periods….maklumlah byk cikgu tgh berkursus (pn. lyla jus left, too)…yep….. neways, aftr skool, we were supposed to have latihan for silat cause we’re gonna do a demo on Hari Sukan, HARI SUKAN! ish3 tidak kusangka hari sukan!(we actually were confused abt the date cos teacher asaid it was on the 11th of april but that’s gonna be a tuesday… if we are to do a demo on a ko-ko day, it would be on a thursday) so today, i find out it’s supposed to be on hari sukan (next, next saturday 8/4/06) so, today is supposed to be the 2nd day we’re training (1st day yesterday) but i wasn’t in skool since friday, demam (aku tidak bersalah! sumpah!) so they be talkin bout the smooth moves they learned yesterday (jatuhan and i’m half wet half dumb as usual (usually minus the wet… i’ll get to the wet later) neways, i’m ok, we stretchhh, buat bunga sembah and i’m alone coz qistina and fiqah blom sampai so now, i;ll got back to the wet……….. aftr skool, fiqah and i went down to bilik salinan to ask qistina whether we cld berlatih tempur today (takut she tak mau) and it’s a GO! lol, neways, unknowingly, i tak bwk baju PJ (was ystrday) or Silat (it’s 2mrw) so i had to walk home, change and walk bak to skool (back door of skool shortcut) no big except it’s raining like God’s depressed or sumthin… but i make it home, WET! and i get into my baju pj (after getting dry of course) and it’s raining MEN! hallelujah! kidding! jus felt like typing dat… neways it’s raining and getting heavier! i’m waiting here downstairs (G flr) looking out at the vast green expanse and i run sobbing, and turn "aaaahhhhhh!" anti-clockwise: "aaahhhhhhhh!!!" i see my hero acroos the field (with a tree) and i run to him………… oopsss, sry, too much russell peters! lol, neways rain is pouring like it’s the niagra falls and i walk out walking through all this rain and guess wat song comes to mind? " I can make it thruuu the raaiiiiiiiinnnnn! i can stand up once agaaaaaaaainnnnnn!"….no kidding! it was that song! neways i walk thru the rain, get to skool and now am SOAKING bloody wet and the rain stops just as i reach the first shade i’ve had since home.. coincidence? i think not! neways i get to the toliets, change into my mostly-dry baju silat (the bag got wet) and stuff my ore-squeezed damp clothes into the dripping bag…. all the time thinking this is sooooooooooooooo wrong! neways, get outta the lavatorial area and next is silat and stretchh and u noe wat’s next…….

so…. next we timed our bunga sembah and jurus olahraga (bunga, yellow belt do bunga kuning/kedua and white belt do bunga pertama/what we always do) and then evryone was supposed to train their stuffso apparently our line up is sumthin like 3 jatuhan then 2 bunga (tempur….. 2 set then bunga mati) i get to kill qistina this time! lol! neways the hilarious part in all this is when we buat bunga mati! wahahahaha! it’s seriously funny! it’s like this, after our second set, qistina will be on the floor, lying down, and i’m supposed to kick her, punch her (jump and land on knee while punching) then parang her neck and she dies from this… neways this is all good except i’m supposed to kick her CROTCH! lol! seriously! we learnt this bunga from latihan pusat and it was TAUGHT to us, not made up by yours truly! neways, the kicking is fine, too except, since this is sort of acting (we’re supposed to make it look real), qistina is supposed to twitch when i kick and punch her! wahahahahahahah! that was sooooooo funny! evryone crackd up at the initial tries and when she added sound effects, i crackd up and totally blew that practice try! all i cld think was mandul qistina nie nanti! lol neways, shortly after, silat training is over till 2mrw! wheeeeeee!! let’s see wat happens… *shudder* moral 2mrw! *shudder summore* *cringe*

bonsoir tout-le-monde, commen ca va? juz wanted to write a post, felt like i haven’t in years…. basicly, this week was like…hmm…… monday, was ok. tuesday, was ok. wednesday, was ok… helped out a bit for a close friend (kesian kau, sry i cldn’t help you more…). thursday was ok, silat (as usual i suckd, might be goin 4 tempur -really? is that really wise?-, sidekick suckd, talkd to cigku nizam tho, tha only time it wasn’t bcoz my move was wrong…. watchd a stiff indian boy try to do judo… made me sure that i wasn’t gonna join judo any time soon… i need stretching help!) finally today, was ok, spent most of it sleeping.. I HAVE CEREAL! woohoo! and milk, too! *looks around and sees ppl staring at me like a jakun* ohh shit, not feeling too well…. i’m leaking, literally! i’m tearing and snot-ing and i don’t have a cold, and don’t want one! my muscles be feeling a wee bit tinged bye tha fever m’good lassies… maybe i got bird flu……. i can’t stop myself fromcrouching, dunno why…. my mom says i shd take my bath "cos go into the dark2 area, the thing will follow you"….. who noes? she mite be right *wipes snot*…….. also, the highlight of my day! i logged on to friendster and for the FIRST time, i had messages AND testimonials, BOTH! the messages were from jii chan, somehow i cldn’t understand what she tried to convey to me, sorry, i can’t read chinese characters! but the testimonials, oh man, those were the best! shen~my senior from sbu whom i haven’t seen in 3-4 yrs~ sent me TWO testi’s, TWO!!!!!! omg, it was sooooo sweet of her! she complimented me and stuff and brought bak all sorts of memories *reminisces* sigh….. thx sooooooooooooo much shen, you don’t know how much those testi’s mean to me…..

mom : "before you sleep, you better go and take your bath, roselyn. that thing will follow you, you better take your bath."

not gonna take bath……yet.. but gtg for now,
j’aime tu comme tu etes
rien de plus, rien de moins

i got to fiqah’s house later than i said i would but i was still early…….. that was thursday morning, the morning of the first of the two days of latihan pusat. i was excited and a little scared, lol…. i do like silat and i do wish i could train evryday or somethin but i know that i’m outta shape, have lotsa fat and that i can’t stretch very much can’t stretch… neways, i’m gonna go back to those first crucial moments in fiqah’s house…
(caution : this is going to be a very long post, i’ve warned you and if you’re brain hurts, do NOT read on)
i’m sitting in the errr…. living room and we’re late and not even sure if we’ll go now and maybe we’re only going closer to 1pm…. fiqah is drawing me a map and telling me to tell the pakcik where to drive….. i’m stuffing my face with cheese tempura nuggets (i disgust me)…… pakcik is here and we’re gettin ready to go….. we’re on the road and the morning talkshow is hilarious…. we’re here! my stomach feels unsettled…. we’re goin up da stairs and cikgu nizam asks us to hurry up…. we’re inside and very late (warm up has started and is advancing) but it’s not cikgu nizam, it’s some green belt dude!….. qistina and i hurriedly warm up and join in the class warm up….. THE TORTURE BEGINS!!!!!! so we’re doin warm ups and by now it’s considered over so alif (the dude in da green belt, lol) tells us to lari setempat and so we do but he gives it a little twist later on, he tells us to put our arms at or chest and we’ve got to lari stempat and our knees have to reach our arms. there were more stuff too, like the lari bukit one where we’re on our knee in the starting a race position then we have to make like we, we  panjat bukit and then we did more lari setempat we had to lari then lari cepat2 then slow again then fast again on and off and on and off, then we had to stay in the push up position (men’s push up) for  three minutes i think, i suckd! lol, i was sweating by now and i wasn’t just sweating, i looked like a source for spring water, lol, i mean sweat was pouring down the sides of my face and arms like i was taking a bath! but i wouldn’t  mind doing it everyday cause it’s so fat burning!!! i’d probably be fat free in a two month or so of daily training… *sigh* neways, after all o that, cikgu nizam told us to sit according to our schools, and in our line it was jus me, qistina and wani (lovely smile still adorning that pretty face) and cikgu nizam askd us to choose between silat olahraga, solo and tempur (i think that’s how it’s spelled) for anyone reading this who doesn’t noe wat all these mean, i’m gonna explain and if you know well, read only lah, re-education, lol
silat olahraga is where we fight an opponent in a match, some call it sparring, it’s the one where u see us fight and scratch and bite etc (the last two aren’t allowed, juz trying to give u an image) and try to get as many point to win over our opponent. solo is when we re-enact a battle, but it’s only performed by one person, so it’s not a real fight it’s just one person leaping around the gelanggang trying to make it look like they’re really getting beat up by some invisible person (no off, lol) and points are given based on how real you look, so you gotta be able to act. tempur is the same as solo but it’s two ppl (i dunno if there’s more) so it supposed to look like a real fight but it’s fake but i dunno, if the participants reali hate each other or are extremely enthusiastic, you can fight for real… but we don’t really fight, we just choreograph the moves and make it look real etc. so now that you know roughly wat we’re supposed to do, i’ll go on, wani opted for silat olahraga and i really do NOT think i can do solo, lol! so, qistina and i decided to do tempur (thx qistina!) and we were soooooooooooooooooooooooo blur cause we didn’t noe how to make up the moves (at least i was sooooooooooooooo blur) and we jus tried to anyway and soon wnuf we came up with our 1st set, sry to say, it was a bit on the lame side but for our situation bak then, it was a stroke of genius! neways, we did our set and later we got da help of abg hafiz (thx abg hafiz) and he totally reconstucted our sets save a last few moves and my brain was so warped by now that qistina had to remind me our moves (sry…) but it was ok…. next we had to make our second set and again abg hafiz helpd us and we had quite nice sets except i was so scrambled brained that qistina had to keep reminding me (so sry…) neways we were quite tired by the end of day one… day two: we reach early causetempur is only supposed to start after lunch and it’s only like nine in da morning (after lunch here means 2.30pm) neways, qistina and i worked on our sets for a lil while but for some reason we were reali tired dat afternoon, sigh, that’s where evrything started goin wrong for me…. aftr warm-ups cikgu nizam made us do garang and marah faces… then he taught us two sets, one where one person stabbed and slashed at the other person than the other person catches the hand, jatuhkan the person then the jatuh peson (on da flr/attacker) pulls the other one down which then the dude responds by pulling his/her hand back which takes the other person off balance and then sapu the person and try to like smash his/her chest with the heel and another set lar, (malas nak cerita, sry) the other set was the buah mati which means it’s the set that one of the ppl are killd and so ends the whole thing…. neways, i was tired which of course made worsew the stupidity that my brain runs under, i was sooooooo blurrrrr!!!! i couldn’t remember anything properly and i was all over the place (oh gawd, i’m SOOOOOOOOOO sry qistina, i swear, i wish i was less blur-er and stupid-er)…. it was a disaster, i was soooooooo sad and dissapointed in myself, i mean it’s ok if it was solo or sumthin but i brought my partner down with me! qistina was good and cause of me……… well you get the pic, i was so dissapointed in myself and i was seriously re-contemplating my reasons for joining silat in the first place and re-thinking my thoughts on wheter i could really do this………. thankfully qistina isn’t mad at me, eventhough she has EVERY right to and if she was, i wouldn’t blame her…… *sigh* i disgust me, i’m such a wimp! neways, day after, my limbs hurt like hell! my right calf, my left thigh my shoulders and my arms…. i can’t believe how weak my body is! i mean i’m bloody fat and my body even without those fats is bloody thick so, my muscles should be able to cope with some work rite? but what does it do? start to complain and hurt all over! WIMP! ask fiqah, i actually scolded my right calf for being such a wimp, althi fiqah was a little preoccupied at the time (sry, i was being a pain, man!) so…. nvm that’s abt all i have to say abt that……… if i said commited any factual errors, forgive me, my brain is a little scrambled…… i would like to issue a formal apology to all who were present at any time or place where i was present because as is apparent to me now, i’m an idiot and that experience must’ve been torture.. so forgive me if you can, i was young and foolish! ends…..

lalalalalalalala.. i am sooooo bored…….. akeem, fiqah? where u guys? i can’t sign on to MSN Mesgr…… dunno why but the f***ing thing keeps cutting 1 letter off my password and then it says it can’t sign in…. wtf? The Core rox! i think it’s my fav. sci-fi movie but i don’t reall see many sci-fi movies so……The Core rox!!!! hmm…. what now? i think i’ll go re-download and install my MSN Msgr… oooooh! btw, i’ve watched all of the available adam philips flash movies! watch Taken ppl, but u MUST make sure ur volume is on high coz u can’t really hear the sounds on normal and if you can’t hear the sound, u’ll be lost on what’s goin on….. watch it at http://www.biteycastle.com/taken.htm
trust me, it’s a good movie, for real! but the key to understanding what really happens is ur volume, i tried watchin it wit my volume down, i got so confused, my cat got worried! lol, nah my cat doesn’t care.. neways, enjoy the movie! leave a comment, SUFFERING, people, suffering! ooooh, hakeem is now online, gtg bye!

bonsoir tout le monde, commen ca va? lol, have nothin to do rite now… fiqah and akeem are both ofline so there goes my plans for a wonderful evening of chatting and smiling crazily to myself (cause i can’y laugh out loud while my dad’s watching tv can i? i’ll look like some crazy vagrant)… oh and i found a french quote in da vinci code while i wa re-reading it, it’s the title of this post! but i’m not sure if the spelling for san graal is right, i can’t seem to find the page again…. neways, i would like to introduce anyone reading this blog to the world of Brackenwood…. people, i have had the privelege to be introduced into this surreal world and now, i’m dragging you in as well, lol… neways brackenwood rox! it’s a flash series created by adam philips who is a very talented man with a knack for transferring his imagination into flash movies… brackenwood has beautiful backgrounds, nice music, funny storylines and interesting characters (bitey rox!) plz people, i am not doing him justice, i can’t possibly convey in words how awesome i think his work is so, plz, watch for yourself… got to this page: http://www.biteycastle.com/content/animation.php and watch the following flash movies in the order shown below:
1. Auld Sage
2. Bitey of Brackenwood
3. Bingbong of Brackenwood
4. Littlefoot
5. Prowlies at the River
unfortunately i haven’t watched any of adam philips’ other works except pokey coz of the fact that by the time i get around to it, my pcis sluggish which takes it about um… let’s see….. a whole decade to load a movie.. so i’m gonna try watch some.. in fact Night Shift is loading right now…… so while i go watch a lil soulfood, ya’ll have fun k? plz, if you have read any of my posts plz, plz juz leave a comment, the need to be acknowledged runs thick in my blood… i feel neglected ppl, unwanted! this has led to the inferiority complex in me building at a staggering rate leading to suffering, SUFFERING! fiqah is suffering, people! she needs your help! if you care for that poor girl, leave a comment! she is on the receiving end of all my ranting, raving and complaining plus my suicidal ramblings.. help her if you have a heart, she is suffering! lol, if fiqah is reading this, you can be sure she’s rolling her eyes and is now determined to leave a comment, lol! neways, plz, do leave a comment…. it gets kinda lonely in blog-world sometimes… tata!

bonsoir, tout le monde! commen ca va? je ca va pas tres bien… mais c’est ok… neways… cldn’t write nething fo a while, had lotsa stuffz to do past few weeks, debate, exams, debate, research, did i mention debate? lol, i noe i did, juz tormenting u a bit there…. whoever you may be and whatever your reason for reading this….. they’re watching all of us! lol, kidding! nvm…. neways, been busy wit debate recently, not to mention exams….. we entered in the Wira cup and teacher pickd a fresh team.. WHY? dunno why lar… neways, our line up was Fiqah, Mellini, Kay Lynn, Sam and Ru Jin… i was juz there as researcher and i wasn’t the only one but i was all that was left in the end… it’s like when u have a kuah berlauk dan lepas dah makan dah ada like kuah sikit and like one lauk-y thingy left over? that was me……… neways, wat i’ve gotten from this debate experience? 1. the name Mama Roselyn 2. gotten to know ms.nur better 3. Brackenwoood!!!!!! 4. got to see sam’s hse 5. fiqah can now discuss debate stuffs wit me! another convert, lol! exams SUCKED! failed evrything except english i think…. the quality of english papers nowadays are appaling!…………….continue this later…. gtg for now……

anyways, as i was saying in my last post, the quality of english papers nowadays suck! i mean, no off, i don’t get 100% all da time or anything but anyone who has seen the PMR paper last year will noe wat i mean…. Neways, all is not as it seems and it seemed that fiqah would noe be able to discuss debate stuffz eit me but apparently, all she got from this was trauma and evrytime i say the ‘d’ word she breaks out in panic and denial with symptoms like chronic hand-waving, ashen facedness, repeated ramblings that sound like "why? no! not debate! nooo! don’t talk about that, man!" etc. it’s a sad thing to see at such a young age but i think her family will be able to accept it…. lol, kidding! i sound like i’m describing a bloody disease (it was what i ws trying to sound like… i’m typing these couse some ppl see it but don’t think about it at all and i’m left with an air of expectation which is never sated) no, no, fiqah’s fine but she is traumatised and does panic when i speak of the ‘d’ word. not exactly panic but a version of it, lol. neways, i realised lately that school is wearing me down and turning my brain into mush…….. i’m more quiet in class nowadays and people keep asking me i’m ok, actually, only fiqah does (no-one else cares that much about me, thx for caring fiqah) couse she has to put up with me all day, evryday and the only break she gets is when school let’s up or when she has ‘prefectly duties’ which i, being the scoundrel i am cannot partake in…… my brain is turning into mush! seriously, i can’t even come up with a decent idea and most of my time in school is punctuated with brief moments of relization then it’s back to lethargic bewilderment…. help! i’m feeling soo suicidal this year.. and i just found out we can’t have free reign over our oral topic this year, woohoo, i’m gonna get a government endorsed topic, must be soooooooo awesome! NOT! and after all this mush-creating and suicide provoking, the government dares to complain about malaysian capabilities… no wonder malaysian music is trashy (no off to all malaysian artists out there but rite now i don’t give a flying..) i need to soak my brain in some cold water and while i’m at it maybe i’ll try and solidify what i can and try to piece it together with what solid chunks there are left……. maybe that way i’ll be at least be able to understand what teacher’s mumbling about in school…